1. Children are often unsure about who a stranger is. For example, is a person a stranger when . . .
   • You don't know him, but he says your Mom asked him to pick you up from school?
   • He smiles at you and says "Hi"!
2. These warnings do not explain why children are to avoid strangers.
3. Statistics show that such warnings leave children virtually unprepared for what happens, because in the majority of cases the child knows the offender.

• Sexual Interference
• Invitation to sexual touching
• Sexual exploitation of a young person
• Parent or guardian procuring sexual activity with a child
• Householder permitting sexual activity
• Exposing genitals to a child
• Vagrancy (forcing a child into vagrancy, to live on the street)
• Juvenile prostitution
• living off the avails of child prostitution
• attempting to obtain sexual services of a child
• Incest
• Corrupting children
• Indecent Acts
• Anal intercourse
• Bestiality
• Sexual Assault
• Sexual Assault with a weapon, threats to a third party
or causing bodily harm
• Aggravated sexual assault
• Exposing a child to pornography
• Luring a child through the internet

• Children under 12 years of age are NEVER considered able to give consent to sexual activity
• 12 & 13 year old youth can only consent with person(s) less than 2 years older than themselves
• 14 & 15 year old youth can only consent with person(s) less than 5 years older than themselves

• Children are most often sexually abused by someone known to them (father figure, relative, neighbor). *SSAIC statistics indicate that children are molested by strangers in only about 8% of cases.
• Sexual offenders are usually male. Of the children seen at SSAIC*, only 5% reported being assaulted by a female.
• Very rarely does sexual abuse of children involve additional violence. Children are especially vulnerable to sexual abuse because of their trusting nature and the natural authority that adults have over them. A child's cooperation is often gained through bribery, guilt, fear and pressure to keep it a secret.
• Sexual abuse of children is usually not an isolated occurrence. The abuse frequently continues and progresses, from exposure and masturbation in front of children, to touching and intercourse over a period of several years.
• Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Most children simply do not have the knowledge to explicitly describe situations of sexual contact without having experienced them.
• Children do not seduce the offender. The idea of the child being a "temptress" stems from misinterpretation of a child's behavior. For example, a bare-bottomed child running about the house is not trying to seduce an adult. Seeing this as an act of seduction is rationalizing the offender's behavior. Sometimes children who have been abused may become seductive, but this is a result of the abuse and not the cause of it. This is a warning sign to be acknowledged.
• Sexual offenders are not necessarily the "dirty old men" we picture. Many times they are upstanding members of the community. Even people with apparently strong moral and religious beliefs may be offenders. Offenders are usually "normal" in most respects.*
• Between 15% and 33% of all sexual offences in Canada are committed by persons under 21 years of age.**

WHAT SHOULD YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN?

• "If your sister is playing with matches and makes you promise to keep it a secret..."
• "If your brother says he has a surprise for you and it turns out to be a trick..."

• "Do you know the difference between good touch and bad touch?"
• "What kind of touching might confuse you?"
• "Let's think of different kinds of touch..."

• "What if you get lost in a grocery store?"
• "What if the babysitter said you could stay up late if you play a special game with her/him?"

1. Accompany your child into public washrooms.
2. Take the time to know your child's friends and where they live.
3. Encourage your child to inform you of their whereabouts.
4. Check references of potential babysitters. Listen to your children if they don't like a particular babysitter.
5. Take the time to talk to your children if you notice any change in their behaviors. Sometimes children have a hard time talking about these things.
6. Note if your child develops any anxiety toward or avoids cousins, uncles, grandfathers, family friends, babysitters, coaches, etc.
7. Find out the approximate time that it takes your children to return home from school or other activities.
8. If your children are asked to babysit, interview their "customers" and trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable about them, remember there is no obligation to accept the job. Discuss alternate ways of getting home should the situation warrant, i.e.: the parent(s) return home drunk, if they unexpectedly request babysitter to stay overnight, or if your child feels uncomfortable being alone with that "customer". Remind your child about normal precautions, such as not giving out information on the phone or the Internet, not opening doors to someone they're uncomfortable with, etc.

• "What if a man asks you to...?"
• "What if the babysitter asks you to . . .?"
• "What if Uncle Jim asks you to . . .?"
• "What if Grandpa . . .?"

• Reluctance to be with a certain person or to go to a certain place
• Unusual interest in, or knowledge of, his/her sexual organs or those of others
• Extreme moodiness, irritability, crankiness
• Sleep disturbances (nightmares, bedwetting, trouble sleeping)
• Loss of, or increase in appetite
• Marked withdrawal from previous interests
• Return to babyish / childish behavior
• Self-destructive behavior (drug or alcohol use, persistent running away, skipping school, shoplifting, self-mutilization)

• Complaints of sore or itchy genitals
• Unusual odors or discharge from the genital area
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Pregnancy, especially if the child refuses to reveal any information about the father of the baby

• Videotaping the child's evidence can minimize the number of times s/he tells about the incident during an investigation. However, videotaped interviews are not always used in court, and if they are, the child may have to testify at the trial (often depends on the child's age). A child may also be subject to cross examination.
• A child witness may be protected from having to view the accused during a trial by the use of a screen and/ or a closed-circuit television.

How to Support a Child Who Has Been Sexually Abused

• It is important that you do not blame your child. Continue to offer your support, and believe in what s/he has told you.
• Do not pressure your child to talk about it, but answer any questions or concerns s/he may have.
• Respect your child's privacy (e.g.: friends and other family members should be told only if the child wants them to be told).
• Continue to follow regular routines at home (chores, bedtime, etc.). By treating your child differently, you will make her/him feel that s/he is different as a result of what happened.
• Do not hold back your normal displays of affection toward your child, but respect her/his feelings on this.
• Remember that you may also be affected by what has happened and that it is important for you to deal with your feelings. The Saskatoon Sexual Assault and Information Centre can help you with this. You are not alone. Talk to someone.

Important Services and Phone Numbers (Saskatoon)

Bibliography